- Hardcover: 368 pages
- Publisher: Orion (21 Feb. 2019)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1409177300
- ISBN-13: 978-1409177302
Synopsis
Audrey’s family has fallen apart. Her two grown-up daughters, Jess and Lily, are estranged, and her two teenage granddaughters have never been allowed to meet. A secret that echoes back thirty years has splintered the family in two, but is also the one thing keeping them connected.
As tensions reach breaking point, the irrevocable choice that one of them made all those years ago is about to surface. After years of secrets and silence, how can one broken family find their way back to each other?
Review
If Only I Could Tell You is a book about secrets, misunderstandings, lies and family. When she was ten, Jess witnesses an event that sets her on the path of hating her sister Lily, to the extent that she has not spoken to her for nearly thirty years. Neither Lily or their mother, Audrey, understand Jess’s actions which divide their family to the extent that Audrey cannot see both her granddaughters at the same time. But now Audrey is ill, and her last wish is to reconcile her family. Narrated by Audrey, Jess and Lily this is a powerful and engaging novel of how secrets can fester and ultimately destroy a family.
If Only I Could Tell You has five strong female lead characters in Audrey, Jess, Lily, Jess’s daughter Mia and Lily’s daughter Phoebe. Audrey is now in her sixties, and has been diagnosed with cancer. She has had to give up her independence and move in with Jess, but after finding her diary, and encouraged by her granddaughters, she decides to do some of the things she never got around to doing. I found Audrey’s story life affirming, her courage and positive attitude to achieving her dreams and making the most out what time she has left was wonderful. Her daughters Jess and Lily live very different lives. Lily and her husband Daniel are high flyers and have both been successful in their respective fields. Jess meanwhile is in a job she hates, and a single mother who struggles to pay the bills. But both have seventeen year old daughters, born six weeks apart, who are not allowed to meet. Mia and Phoebe look very similar and both know their own minds, not always in accordance with the expectations of their mothers. I found their relationship with Audrey heartwarming, the love, respect and at times their deviousness made me smile.
Hannah Beckerman’s prose is beautiful, and flows seamlessly between the character’s stories and the two timelines, making this a joy to read. She has a great understanding of the human mind and emotions which make the characters that much more real. There are flashbacks to 1988 and the events that led up to Jess’s reason for cutting off Lily. We see how these secrets and lies eat away the bonds of family and ultimately destroy them; one simple event, overheard discussions lead to anger and a misinterpretation of the facts. There are some very difficult issues raised in this book, all dealt with great compassion, empathy and candor by Hannah Beckerman.
If Only I Could Tell You is a heartfelt honest look at families and how secrets can cause pain and destruction to those you are trying to protect. Beautifully written, with care and compassion to the subject matter, and engaging characters this book is an emotional and powerful read. I absolutely loved this book, it went straight to my heart and left me feeling surprisingly positive about life.
